Ready For Retirement
Ready For Retirement
Facing Health Challenges in Retirement and Learning to Reconnect with Your Spouse
After his father lost healthcare coverage in retirement and had to pay for a major health event with savings, Derek was highly motivated to ensure sufficient coverage in retirement. He even considered leaving the job he loved for one with better healthcare and retirement benefits.
Derek shares his retirement journey with James, including:
➡ Decisions he made pre-retirement
➡ How he addressed healthcare concerns
➡ How his perspective on life and giving back has shifted
➡ How he and his wife prepared for the changes retirement would bring to their marriage
Questions answered:
What are some questions my spouse and I could explore now in preparation for when we’re spending more time together in retirement?
What is Derek’s advice for soon-to-be retirees?
Submit your request to join James:
On the Ready For Retirement podcast: Apply Here
On a Retirement Makeover episode: Apply Here
Timestamps:
0:00 - Meet Derek
3:23 - Importance of healthcare
6:48 - Health in retirement
10:07 - A new perspective and purpose
14:13 - Financial concerns and readiness
16:29 - The biggest challenge
19:30 - Adjustments in the marriage
23:13 - Derek’s advice
26:11 - Final thoughts
Create Your Custom Strategy ⬇️
On today's episode of Ready for Retirement, I am joined by Derek. Derek opens up about two serious health events that he and his wife faced transitioning into retirement. He opens up about his concern that he wouldn't feel challenged when he retired and he talks about a conversation that he and his wife had that made that transition so much better, so much so that they're in a place today that he never imagined was possible. It's all coming up on today's episode of Ready for Retirement. This is another episode of Ready for Retirement. This is another episode of Ready for Retirement.
Speaker 1:I'm your host, james Canole, and I'm here to teach you how to get the most out of life with your money. And now on to the episode. Joining me on today's episode of Ready for Retirement is Derek Pinky. Derek, thank you for being on the show. Thank you for having me Appreciate it. I think you've got a lot. I think everyone has a lot to share. I'll start with that. I think more so than most people realize, and especially just in having this conversation with you and prepping for this, I think there's some good things that a lot of people will get a lot out of.
Speaker 2:But to start, derek, if you don't mind sharing, just what was your career like and when did you make the decision to retire? Okay, so I've been in law enforcement for a little over 34 years. I had 14 years, or about 13 and a half years, local law enforcement, and then the balance of 20 plus almost 21 years was federal law enforcement. When I was doing local law enforcement, we actually had a good pay scale, but our retirement wasn't that great and I started noticing a lot of the older employees and officers that were having to work much longer because they couldn't afford life insurance or medical insurance when they retired.
Speaker 2:And we started looking back forth. Stephanie and I were talking and we I'm like this isn't good because we're going to have to work much longer until we get to 65. So we decided to keep our eyes open for something different, and so that's when I joined on federal law enforcement, which would then give us medical insurance when we retire and a better employee compensation as far as their thrift savings plan, which is kind of like a company IRA but for the government. So, yeah, we made the move over there. It was a little bit scary because I loved what I did before, but we did it and we've been blessed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how old were you when you made that change the federal side and how old were you when you retired from that?
Speaker 2:So I was 39 years old, which is two years older than what's normally allowable federal service. Normally for law enforcement you have to enter at 37. There was an exception at that time for that year and I got in under that exception, so I was able to put in my 20 plus years and I had to retire at 60. So with the exemption, normally on federal law enforcement you have to retire at 57 and the exemption allowed me to work till 60.
Speaker 1:So 60. And so in your mind there was no, do I work till 60? Do I work till 65? It was the decision was made for you.
Speaker 2:It sounds like it was, and the only scary thing was trying to figure out when I got to the end of that road then do we have enough to actually stay retired, to go into retirement and enjoy life, or do I need to look for something else to, you know, to have some income?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so in other words, you were retiring, but the the it didn't necessarily guarantee total peace of mind of you could stay retired. You might, you might need it. Yeah, you mentioned health insurance and that was one of the reasons to the switch to the federal side. Right, obviously, health insurance is important for everyone, but you were sharing a story with me of especially why that's important for you and Stephanie, do you mind sharing why that was such an important piece of the puzzle for you? Absolutely.
Speaker 2:My parents. They worked many jobs throughout their life and they saved and built an estate for retirement as they approached their later years. My dad came down with cancer three different times over a 16-year period. During that time period, the first two bouts of cancer, they had an insurance policy that covered it, and so they didn't have that big of a financial impact. After the second round of cancer treatment then, that insurance company went bankrupt. They couldn't get insurance anywhere else because of his existing condition, and so then, when the third round of cancer hit, it basically depleted all of their financial reserves. Then he ended up passing at the end of it, and so my mom was left having to take a second mortgage out on the home and then just live on an extremely tight budget. It was difficult to watch her go through it. She's a strong woman, but it's still tough to see that happen, and I didn't want that to happen to Stephanie and myself and wanted to make sure there was some sort of a safety net there.
Speaker 1:How old were you when your parents were going through that?
Speaker 2:The first bout of cancer happened almost 34 years ago, around 34 years Then he passed away. It would be in 2003.
Speaker 1:So that's when he finally passed. So you had. Retirement wasn't yet on the horizon as this was happening, but it was something that was definitely in the back of your mind. How, or maybe in the front of your mind, how much so was that part of your thinking as you were preparing for retirement to the transition to the federal side of things? Or do you need to work again, even once, retiring from that? Can you walk us through that?
Speaker 2:Sure, it was huge in our decisions when I started working on local law enforcement. The pay was good, but I didn't realize that we weren't going to get any medical in retirement and I didn't understand the consequences of that. As they started going through the different treatments, we started looking at it and it just it didn't make sense. Matter of fact, you know I loved where I worked. I even talked to him before I left. I mean, the whole reason that I was leaving was for the medical benefits and the different employee contributions that they have towards the retirement plan.
Speaker 1:What did you do so when you retired from federal law enforcement? Was health insurance a hundred percent covered? Was it partially covered? What did your plan look like at that point?
Speaker 2:The way it is for federal employees is when you retire, we pay the same amount that any other federal current federal employee pays for their insurance they do have there's quite a few plans you could choose from, so it's up to you, kind of where you choose your plan. We've got one that is a little bit more expensive but it covers more, and every year we can decide to go to a different plan, just as if we're a current federal employee.
Speaker 1:And how has your health been since retiring? And, if you don't, maybe for you and Stephan, if you don't mind sharing with us, I'd be happy to.
Speaker 2:Overall, physically I'm still strong. I go to the gym. I work out two to four days a week, usually one to two hours per workout, keeping my cardio up. The challenge that we had is I retired at the end of May of 2023.
Speaker 2:In August, Stephan had to go in and have ankle surgery. She had torn her peroneal tendon and basically destroyed a ligament in her foot, her ankle so they had to do reconstruction on that. She went into surgery and about that time I got a call from my urologist. We've been doing actus ralence on the prostate cancer that I have and they had some things that were concerning to them, so they were wanting to do some more tests and so I had to go back in. So when they made that call, then I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to tell Stephanie when she comes out of surgery. She came through surgery about four hours later, got her home, and then I broke the news to her and said hey, just so you're not worrying, I don't want to blindside you, but I got this call.
Speaker 2:So, anyways, that was a little concerning for her. She was a little frustrated that she even had surgery even though she needed it. She was so frustrated because now she feels like she can't be there for me. So, anyways, our daughter Caitlin, she came, she got me and Stephanie, she dropped me off for some of my testing, Then she took Stephanie over for one of her follow-up visits, and so there's one of those things where you start feeling okay, I'm feeling a little bit older now because you know our child's having to come down and help take care of us and take us to appointments. Anyways, I did the testing, got the results back, so things are staying on course. We're still doing active surveillance on the prostate cancer, and so I'm going every six months for more tests and then occasional MRIs and biopsies. That's one thing. It's there, but we're monitoring it and making the most of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, thank you for sharing that, Derek. And as a follow-up to all that, how has your perspective, if at all, changed, both regarding your decision to retire last year as well as how you view retirement today? It?
Speaker 2:gives you a different viewpoint. For sure, you don't know how much time you have to live. And again, some you know somebody could step out in front of a car or be driving down the road and get hit and die. But whenever you hear that you know the word cancer or anything like that, you start worrying about how long is my timeline? If it comes back, what will the impact be? So our focus is really looking at enjoying life together and doing new adventures, be there for each other. That's again part of why I make sure and continue to work out every week, because if it happens to come around, I want to have the best chance I can have to survive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, To put it bluntly, absolutely, what does that look like for you and Stephanie? Part of retirement you haven't been able to do as much, whether it's because of Stephanie healing or you, but what? What have you done? What have you done that maybe you would not have done had it not been for some of the health stuff that you both have gone through?
Speaker 2:I think, as far as what we if I didn't know about anything, we didn't go through any of the medical stuff we probably would. Still we would go travel, but I don't think we would appreciate as much as what we do, and I think it gave us both a better perspective. We like to go hiking and camping and and kayaking and all that, so we're pretty active, and so this was hitting us on two sides because of her ankle stability, you know, and worried you, and how is that going to come back? As well, as if the prostate cancer comes back or if it, you know, gets where it works more aggressive, then what do we do? So I think it's for us to really treasure each thing, and we're being starting this year to be more focused on planning trips and so it looks like next year we should have a lot of good trips coming.
Speaker 1:That's great. I know so much of your transition into retirement. This has been the focus. It's one of those things where, if you don't have your health, nothing else really seems to matter. So you've been so acutely focused on health right now. Has that impacted how the transition into retirement gone Meaning? Has that made it easier to say, okay, we don't have to fill our time with work or we don't feel that sense of loss of purpose because this has become our purpose? How has the transition overall been for the two of you?
Speaker 2:I think you're right that there was some of that. That normal void was was probably filled by taking care of her and her. You know, making sure that I'm going to my, my visits, and so I think initially that was kind of a distraction, if you will, and now that we're back on track, I think the main thing is really looking at being intentional of what we do. You know, whether it's we see somebody in line at the grocery store and you know, you can tell that they're, you know, searching for the money to pay the, you know for the groceries and we step up and say, hey, we got it. Ask me, is it okay if we do this? So making sure, being intentional with acts of kindness and also looking at what do we want out of life.
Speaker 1:How much of that question of what do we want out of life has been asked post cancer diagnosis, post-surgeries, and how much of it was asked prior to any of that happening.
Speaker 2:I think a lot more was asked after the diagnosis. I was always aware of it because of my father, so that was something that you think about and when it hits you it gives you a whole different perspective. And I think that's coupled with. Before I retired, we took a trip, a camping trip, and we went all the way up in to Maine, through Vermont and Maine, and we stopped by Niagara Falls and while we were there I looked over and Stephanie was all teared up. We were right near the edge of the waterfalls and I was like you know what's wrong? You okay, and she looked at me and she goes.
Speaker 2:You know, I never thought I'd get to see this. At that point I thought, you know, there's a lot that I want her to see and experience as well as myself. But that's something that I didn't know, that she had in the back of her mind and I'm so glad that we went there, you know, with that. That's why we want to do a bunch of road trips. I want to let her experience and I want to experience it with her. All these beautiful things are, you know, throughout the country.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's certainly new appreciation for what is out there and what can we do, and nothing like a cancer diagnosis or a serious health event to bring that into perspective. On the financial side, because you shared the story about your parents and the story being, yes, health is a thing and it's nothing that's guaranteed to any of us. But the follow-up to that is the financial implications of after your dad passed and after that insurance company went bankrupt and wasn't able to pay for that, the consequences for your mom and seeing what she went through and you not wanting to put your wife through anything like that or have anything to worry like that. What financial concerns did you have going into retirement and have those concerns materialized? I know it's still just over a year in, but what concerns did you have and to what extent have they been realized?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think for us we didn't want and again I say this, my mom was not a burden on us at all and it was a pleasure and an honor to actually be able to be there for her, to take care of her and be there in her last moments. On the financial aspect of it, it was that we didn't want it to be a burden on our kids in any way and we wanted to make sure that if something happens to me, stephanie doesn't have to move out of the house, away from the property. She can continue a good life. And again, just financial, because I know we've been married 38 years now and so the emotional toll would be there for us. You know, if, whenever one of the other passes away but financially I don't want to add any other burden on top of her With that, while I was working we probably lived on about 48% of our income.
Speaker 2:Then we invested the rest and then basically, at the end of it we're going to be able to live and enjoy life and she's fine if I pass away as far as financially and still, then whenever she passes, then you know the kids will be fine as well. We've worked it out, put safeguards in there, I guess, as uh ari says, put up, put up the bumper pads on the lanes, and so I think we feel comfortable with where we're at.
Speaker 1:Yeah. What has been, health events aside, the transition into retirement a year plus into it, what has been the biggest challenge for the two of you?
Speaker 2:This is not anything negative. You do have to be aware of the increased time with each other and that's something that that going into it. You hear horror stories about people that they retire. You know the kids are gone and next thing you turn around that they're divorced and and they've gone separate ways. And we didn't want that.
Speaker 2:When I retired, before I retired, we actually started talking about what does this look like when I'm home now, because I had an hour and 15 minute commute each way to work. So you're looking at nine, 10 hour days, what? Almost 50 more hours a week, and I'm right there. So I really wanted to make sure that I was respectful of her space and I didn't take away from things that she normally would do. We just didn't want any friction. So we talked about a lot beforehand and then even during. You know she's like, hey, ok, I normally do it this way, so you'll just give me some space, ok, and I handed it over. She does her thing.
Speaker 2:So I guess it's being respectful of each other and then avoiding idle time Shortly after retiring. It's weird because you're not getting up and going to work and then you start saying, okay, I guess I should relax, maybe a little bit so you relax. You're like I don't feel productive. So then I started doing checklists. I'd make a list of things to do, like Stephanie and I talked. You know I'd pick like three things to make sure and do and then I get those done and then I can do whatever else extra. So I think it's big on staying task oriented on things, at least for me, and you know I stay getting up at 430 in the morning, get to work. I get up at seven every morning.
Speaker 1:So that way, I stay consistent. I like what you said about you and Stephanie having a conversation. What is it going to look like when I don't have 50 plus hours in my week accounted for? What did you learn about each other, or what was a?
Speaker 2:surprise that came out of that conversation that you guys had, because she was really worried that I would be very down or not feel challenged by not going to work, because for 38 years or no, for 34 years I've been on call most of that time. So whether it's, you know, getting called out or whether it's somebody calling or something, there's some activity going on. When we came home, she was really, really worried about how I would take it, as far as if I'd be lonely, missing everything, and for me it took our relationship to a whole nother level where initially I was kind of concerned about, you know, getting in her way to cause problems. But tell you what it's allowed me to learn more about her and to find things that make her happy, things that she definitely wants to do on her own and, um, just really in long living life, so much better it's just I'm amazed at how much better it is than what I had imagined.
Speaker 1:How did I? I'm curious about that, Cause I think a lot of people say, yeah, it's a. There's the fear of what does this do to my relationship with my spouse when I am home, but there's also the aspiration of, yeah, I do want to retire and have my marriage thrive. What, what was it? Was there a moment or something that happened where you realized, wow, this isn't just me not getting in the way of Stephanie, but we're able to actually reconnect in a way we haven't been able to?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I'm going to give Stephanie a ton of credit on this one because she really was focused on hey, why don't you go to lunch with one of your guy? You know friends, you know that you worked with? She was really encouraging me to stay engaged with others and be and to let me know that it's okay if I want to go do something. I may want to go fishing or whatever I want to do. She was very encouraging, I think it's. She was a huge positive in this.
Speaker 1:Yes, and so her being encouraging of you continuing to do some of these things led to a stronger relationship between the two of you.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, and it it did. And you know, in talking about it and I think that's a big thing, my wife is a very good communicator. She likes to talk. I'm more on the silent side and what we found is that the communication is so much better back and forth now and I'm talking a lot more to her and she's even talking about the same, but I'm, but it's interacting. You know, she just she likes to talk and that's her form of love and communication, and now I've got the opportunity to really embrace that and grow in it. So, yeah, what?
Speaker 1:how would you for someone who's listening saying that's I want to do that, I want to have that conversation with my spouse? It can be hard sometimes to bring it up or hard to acknowledge the fact that this might actually be a challenge in retirement as opposed to a pure positive in retirement. Was it difficult to have that conversation initially, or did it flow fairly easily?
Speaker 2:difficult to have that conversation initially, or did it flow fairly easily? It was difficult for me just because, again being more of the silent one, then I would try to anticipate what I thought she was needing or wanting. And then, as I listened to her more and then began to open up in a different way of what are my concerns and my fears, I think that really changed it because, instead of going into it as the strong man that, hey, this is the way it should go here and here I think this I opened up and started being very vulnerable to her as far as what are my concerns, what do I want out of things, and I think that allowed us to grow.
Speaker 1:What would you say to the extent that you feel comfortable sharing? What was it that you wanted most out of your retirement that you shared with Stephanie?
Speaker 2:For me and again I wanted to make our life in retirement fun and enjoyable, to see new things and experience things in a different manner. There's been again 34 years in law enforcement. I mean from being when we're opening up Christmas presents on Christmas Day and they get paged out on a spot, call out and it's here you go, you drop it or I get phone calls that interrupt things. I was looking forward to uninterrupted time with her and especially after seeing her response in Niagara Falls, I wanted to really nurture that and see more.
Speaker 1:Well, I think that there is so much as simple as that is. I think that there's a lot of wisdom in that too, of preparing for retirement with the backdrop of what you saw your parents go through and wanting to make sure that you were prepared, immediate perspective, how precious life is and how none of us are guaranteed anything. To the tactical things of how do you have these conversations with your spouse, how do you have kind of a goal for retirement to make it one of the adventure and and get the most out of life that you can. If, if you could give one piece of advice to people who are preparing for retirement, not so much on the financial side I think there's enough there but on the psychological side or the emotional side, if you could give advice to them to best prepare for this season, to make it the best season of their life, what would you tell them? I think?
Speaker 2:probably to be open emotionally to each other, talking about your fears, your concerns and what does it mean, what brings you joy or what are some items in life that you haven't been able to do, and then try to make those happen. Because I look at it as with this, it's almost like a fresh start, worked all this time. Now let's look at starting something new and let's grow from here and do new experiences. So I think just a really good conversation with you know your spouse partner is big because it's it impacts both and you know whatever the decision is can make it whether it's a good retirement or bad retirement. I think you don't want to just sit around and argue or or veg and just watch shows and then die. You know there's too much out there to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, on that note. What's next for you and Stephanie as you look at your retirement journey?
Speaker 2:Well, I've been doing a lot of watching on YouTube and talking with other friends that are skilled more in construction. So I'd like to build us a new workshop, and then we're going to get a new tow vehicle for our camper, and then we want to do a trip up into Canada and up into Alaska. Wow. So on that, we're looking to probably be gone anywhere. I guess maybe two to three months, however long it takes us. What we'd like to do is just take off and then, at whatever point we need to turn around and come back, because we're done and that's what we do.
Speaker 1:That sounds like an adventure and I look forward to hearing how that goes. That's great. Well, derek, thank you very much just for sharing this. I know that this isn't a conversation that a lot of people have sometimes of what's on the other side, what do I need to do to make the most of it, how do I talk to my spouse? How do I prepare psychologically. So I appreciate you sharing health stuff, family stuff, your concerns, your, your hopes. This has been, this has been, great. Is there anything else you'd like to leave the audience with before we wrap up for today?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think one thing that probably the most significant thing that we did right off the bat was when we were coming up on retirement. We interviewed five different advisors from five different companies. Of course, one of them was with Ari, with Root, and my wife had watched a lot of your videos, watched a lot of Ari's videos to get educated and everybody. They paled in comparison to you and Ari and the whole Root team.
Speaker 2:I didn't tell you this earlier, but when I retired I was actually thinking about managing our funds in the TSP and just staying with that and kind of going, because I was worried whether I'd find anybody that I could trust with our hard-earned savings. And after talking with y'all man, it brought such a new comfort for us and we're able to enjoy without stressing about the market. I know that Stephanie's going to be okay because y'all are going to take care of her, based on conversations that we've had, so I know she's going to be in good hands. If something happens to me and I think that's a big thing for anybody that's watching this is find an advisor that fits with them and you don't just have to get somebody to just manage his money, Cause, like y'all do the holistic thing where it's, it's about life and enjoying it. So, and for me, I'd like to say thank you very much for that. It's been awesome.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you, Derek, and you nailed it it's about life. Money doesn't mean much without the proper context of what is this life that we're living look like. And uh, uh, you know the whole team at root here loves you and Stephanie, I really appreciate you sharing that. So very happy to hear that you are living your adventure and you're making the most of life with your money. So great to see and appreciate you sharing that. Thank you All right. Well, on that note, Derek, we'll wrap up. Thank you so much for being a guest on this podcast and wish you the best with that multi-month road trip to Alaska through Canada. That sounds like an adventure. Maybe we do a follow-up episode at some point to hear how that went and do a check-in.
Speaker 2:I think it sounds fantastic and I tell you what I'm serious as a hard tech. Y'all are life changers and I've told this to Ari different times these luckies if he didn't have parents, we would adopt them. We love them. And Hannah, everybody's been great and I can't tell you thank you enough, because money can come and go, but the one thing that I treasure the most is my wife, and I know that she is going to be taken care of with you. There's a comfort there that can't put a price on.
Speaker 1:So thank you, Derek, Special to hear. Thank you so much, Appreciate that and, like I said, we love getting to do what we do with awesome people like yourself and like Stephanie, so appreciate that very much. You're welcome, and on that note we will wrap. Derek, thank you so much for being here. Thank you everyone for listening and we'll see you all next time. Thank you, Root Financial has not provided any compensation for and has not influenced the content of any testimonials and endorsements shown.
Speaker 1:Any testimonials and endorsements shown have been invited, have been shared with each individual's permission and are not necessarily representative of the experience of other clients. To our knowledge, no other conflicts of interest exist regarding these testimonials and endorsements. Hey everyone, it's me again for the disclaimer. Please be smart about this. Before doing anything, please be sure to consult with your tax planner or financial planner.
Speaker 1:Nothing in this podcast should be construed as investment, tax, legal or other financial advice. It is for informational purposes only. Thank you for listening to another episode of the Ready for Retirement podcast. If you want to see how Root Financial can help you implement the techniques I discussed in this podcast, then go to rootfinancialpartnerscom and click start here, where you can schedule a call with one of our advisors. We work with clients all over the country and we love the opportunity to speak with you about your goals and how we might be able to help. And please remember, nothing we discuss in this podcast is intended to serve as advice. Please remember nothing we discuss in this podcast is intended to serve as advice. You should always consult a financial, legal or tax professional who's familiar with your unique circumstances before making any financial decisions.
